george carlin politicians don't care about you

This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. That doesnt help them. "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? - Gin Wigmore. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. George Carlin. "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. That's generally been true. Board Messages . "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. ", 20. That's against their interests. "I have lots of ideas. ", 89. Thell get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin place. "But what I want them to know is that Im thinking. ", 88. I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. Yeah, the public sucks. ", 3. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television. ", 29. ", 27. This Cookie is used by Yahoo to anonymously store data related to user's visits, such as the number of visits, average time spent on the website and what pages have been loaded. "We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! And nobody seems to notice. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. A unique user identifier cookie, set by Microsoft Application Insights software, that enables counting of the number of users accessing the application over time. "Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. The embattled gay representative has denied his drag persona, but these three performers have embraced her with comedic flair! I didn't bother with him. Germany lost the Second World War. ", 67. ", 9. . He was 71 years old. ", 10. Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes. "There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. '""I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. "Forget the politicians. YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages. ", 72. It doesn't matter what side you're on. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. Trump did not fall to Earth from. By programmers in one hour. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. MediaMath sets this cookie to avoid the same ads from being shown repeatedly and for relevant advertising. ", 57. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. George Carlin. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. 41. "If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. '", 73. "When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. RIP George Carlin. ", 61. Known for his funny and sarcastic quotes, we think you'll get a kick out of his words. They own everything. After that, they don't want to know about you. The Monday night crucifixions! The late comedian often times poked fun at religion, politics, and social justice. Cookie associated with embedding content from Snapchat. ", 66. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. No nothing. And I didn't really care in the first place. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' "It's important in life if you don't give a s**t. It can help you a lot. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. When you see the documentary, you'll see this, but the evolution of Carlin wasn't just . ", 7. (LogOut/ AWSALB is an application load balancer cookie set by Amazon Web Services to map the session to the target. I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. A cat . The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. I don't like cats. I like people who buck the system. 4. "My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. You don't. You have no choice. Simple thing. "I have as much authority as the Pope. This information is used to pick out ads delivered by the platform and assess the ad performance and its attribute payment. "One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. CMPRO cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking, and for targeted advertising. ", 50. of American cultural paradoxes.. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Take George Carlin, for example. You throw out the first three commandments, wssst! It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. Everybody complains about politicians. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. This cookie is used to collect data on user behaviour and interaction to make advertisement on the website more relevant. Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. After that, they dont want to know about you. ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? The ad-id cookie is provided by Amazon Advertising for tallying user actions by tracking ad clicks on other websites, to provide targeted content. ", 31. Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! "There's a humorous side to every situation. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously. They dont care about you at all. An Adobe Analytics cookie that uses a unique visitor ID time/date stamp to identify a unique vistor to the website. They own you. "I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. ", 115. Its part of that showoff and dropout syndrome. Thats all it is. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. The ID is used for targeted ads. He loves you, and He needs money! And they all vote. This cookie is used for embedding The Guardian video player. In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." They own everything. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this week's reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. Am I right? Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. Everyones at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. Carlin was a New York City-based stand-up comedian, social critic, writer, and actor, best known for his unconventional and vulgar comedy routines. ", 35. "In America, anyone can become president. If You're Preschool, You're F*cked': Read George Carlin's Epic 1996 Rant Against Anti-Abortion Conservatives . He's not a cheese. the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big, red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day., This video is completely devastating for Trump. 3. So I don't trust none of them. No nothing! This problem can be solved by pre-school children in 5-10 minutes. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' Here is one I would suggest: 'Alcohol will turn you into the same a**hole your father was. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time! He died in 2008, the week after he had been named the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize . Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read. "Don't give your money to the church. "My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' ", 32. "Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my d**k or I'll call the police. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. Its because volunteers work for no pay. "When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. That doesnt help them. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. CMPS cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking based on user's website visits, for displaying targeted ads. He missed this one. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You dont. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? On Election Day, I stay home. ", 120. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. "The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. They will do anything for the unborn. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. JIM STAFFORD. Maybe this time itll work. I think the life cycle is all backwards. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. Now come the lawsuits, Weird Texas GOP bill would give big tax cuts only to hetero couples with lots of kids, Libs Of TikToks Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, 5 times The Onion brilliantly skewered J.K. Rowlings & The New York Times transphobia, A right-wing podcaster tried to smear Pete Buttigieg. ", 34. "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? The Bachelorette's Angie Kent and Carlin Sterritt have been on holiday together in Vietnam the past week and sharing lots of glamorous selfies. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. They don't want to hear from you. That's the problem. Believe me, my friend. [5] And another one: 43. New evidence may suggest they don't and many voters are skeptical, too. Set by Bluekai, this cookie stores anonymized data about the users' web usage in an aggregate form to build a profile for targeted advertising. What do you get at the end of it? It will not be with jack-boots. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Theyre anti-woman, simple as it gets, he said. "I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZijLQGH1v0 No, wait, hold on . 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 When you leave them in the morning they stick their noses in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you return eight hours later. Weve addedyearstolifenotlife to years. George Carlin, Heres a bumper sticker Id like to see: We are the proud parents of a child whos self-esteem is sufficient that he doesnt need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Which doesn't make any sense at all. Teach them to question what they read. You will be notified via email when a new post is published. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Next, honor thy father and mother. #AmericaWakeUp. ", 111. Carlin passed away in 2008 before he could see the prescience of his comedic wit and intelligence with the rise of Republican Donald Trump's candidacy this year. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. "When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' "I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. You have owners. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. ", 5. The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. It gloriously backfired, Dictionary.com just added several new LGBTQ+ words & also grundle, Love, drugs & the club: As a gay man, life looks different with a new disability, Kim Petras says the road to fame while trans was twice as long, School bans parents as a threat to kids over LGBTQ-affirming posts, Sam Smith is trending on Twitter and the discourse is truly Unholy. The v1st cookie is set by TripAdvisor to collect details about how visitors use the website, by displaying user reviews, awards and information received on the TripAdvisor community. ", 69. 1 Every year in January, WEF holds its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland. You voted them in. "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? Weve added years to life, not life to years. '""The difference between left and right of centeroriginated in the Frenchparliament. ", 119. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. No nothing. He saw it from a . RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. They own all the important land. AddThis sets this cookie to enable the visitors to share the web pages on social platforms via sharing buttons on the website. His beliefs in fairness and equality in. ", 122. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. This narrative is based on a deliberate fiction. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. AddThis sets this geolocation cookie to help understand the location of users who share the information. This cookie is set by the BlueConic. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. F*ck Hope. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. They own you. Everybody's . "Electricity is really just organized lightning. ", 47. ''It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. Forget the politicians. ", 95. They want your fuckin retirement money. This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. Whatever you do dont make it go viral! Thats the problem. ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. ", 18. "In America, anyone can become president. And if they tell you youre not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. George Carlin. '", 93. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. This is what we have to offer. ", 15. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. -George Carlin There you are. "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers . ", 55. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. I'm a cowboy who . "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ", 53. Over time, though, his success grew. Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy. ", 48. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. It was during the waning of the Nixon years, where confidence in government was beginning its slide down to the Stygian depths where it rests today; the Vietnam War, and racial unrest, continued to rage on. I think. George Carlin on The Late Late Show with Tom Snyder 1998 RayHamburger 95K views 4 years ago George Carlin on the Illusion of Choice in Politics. December 2, 2015, 3:27 PM. This cookie is used for storing country code selected from country selector. Its you. ", 60. Carlin's rueful 1996 routine about conservatives' opposition to abortion ("they will do anything for the unborn, but once you're born, you're on your own") became a newly viral phenomenon and. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. [] I look at war a little bit differently. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. "I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. This cookie, set by PubMatic, is used to build a profile of user interests and to show relevant ads. God has a three-day weekend. ", 113. This cookie is set by Eloqua. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. "You show me a lazy p***k who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to p**s, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. ", 92. ", 43. I had an imaginary friend. They've got the judges in their back pockets. "I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. "Everyone smiles in the same language. When a . Being woke, leading the charge in cancel culture, fighting censorship, and supporting those who are vulnerable and don't have a voice. This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. "Dont just teach your children to read. Thats the problem. George Carlin, I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin, Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking; theywant obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin, How can He be perfect?

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